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DEAR TABBY: Recently, my husband has started coming home from work smelling faintly of brimstone and with his hair slightly singed at the tips. Naturally I was a little suspcious so I called a mutual friend at his office to see if I could learn anything. Come to find out, he has just hired a succubus as his new secretary.
I know I should be mad, and I feel very betrayed, but the thing is that since he hired her, we've been having the best sex of our lives! I can't decide whether I should confront him about it, or just put blinders on an pretend I don't know. What should I do? — DOWN AND DIRTY IN DOCKSIDE
DEAR DOWN AND DIRTY IN DOCKSIDE: I can understand your feelings of betrayal. My Tom is always out sniffing around other cats…especially that other cute little tabby named Kali Kat across the way. But I've been to Dockside. After digging around in the trash, I see there's lots of reason for your husband to come home smelling of brimstone.
As for confronting your husband and possibly ruining the best sex ever of your life, I'd send that little succubus a bouquet and thank you note as you put on the blinders and go for the ride of your life! — KITTY LICKS TO YOU, TABBY
Gavilean Starfare
Zorbenastrocalipermeneotullis
The only known photo of the gnome Zorbenastrocalipermeneotullis (otherwise known as Bob) at the Jodiah Ayreg forge, creating a new dagger for a RhyDin client.
For the Best Non-Magical
Weapons and Armor
For All Things Magical
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DEAR TABBY: Every time my husband and I go out to the Red Dragon Inn, he just can't keep his eyes off of the other women! Like that awful Des, who parades around in outfits that no decent woman would wear. We'll be sitting and talking but even though his lips are saying the right words, I can watch his eyes tracking her around the room. And the other day he actually goosed a barmaid! It drives me batty! What can I do? — WORRIED ABOUT HIS WANDERING WAYS
DEAR WORRIED ABOUT HIS WANDERING WAYS: I'd tell you what I would be doing, I'd be calling the vet!! It doesn't matter if you're a human, a cat or something else. All males can't keep their eyes, mind, paws or anything else to themselves. But this can be taken care of with just a snip-snip if you know what I mean.
Just the other day, I found Tom over with Kali Kat just having the time of his life. He is one to wine and dine a gal. When he got home, I told him if he keeps it up, I have the vet on speed dial and I'm not afraid to use it! If you want, I can send you that name and number just in case you need to use it. — KITTY LICKS TO YOU, TABBY — THE LOVELY LAP CAT OF THE LADY KYNDRA
DEAR TABBY: Since you help humans and such with their problems, I thought maybe you could help out a few fellow felines. The other day, me and the boys were hanging around the back of in the Inn, waiting for a few scraps when this gorgeous Siamese came strutting down the alley with her tail held high. Let me tell you, she was HOT! She'd stop, chit chat for a bit, bat her eyes and show off that pretty tail of hers. Then as soon as someone else caught her fancy, she was off again. What do you do about alley cats who try to compete for all the Toms attentions in the alley and flits from one furball to the next in front of all the other Toms? — TOMS TIRED OF TEASING
DEAR TOMS TIRED OF TEASING: Consider it taken care of!!!! I know which little piece of tail you're talking about! Gorgeous blue eyes, soft fur, long dark tail? Yes, I know her all to well. Let me tell you, toms aren't the only ones tired of those females like her that walk around with the tails in the air for all to see. The girls and I can't stand to see her flirt with all you boys, flaunting her wares. You guys are so busy drooling and being googly-eyed, you don't even notice anybody else like me or the other girls. Me and the girls will handle this!! We'll take her outback and tie a knot in that pretty little tail of hers. — KITTY LICKS TO YOU! — TABBY, THE LOVELY LAP CAT OF THE LADY KYNDRA
Ask Tabby is written by Lady Kyndra's lap cat Tabby. If you have a question for Tabby you can send it to Lady Kyndra.
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