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By JEWELL RAVENLOCK
The streets of RhyDin are certainly not safe for anyone anymore.
Disappearances that started in the woods late last month — people belonging to late night caravans up and vanishing without a trace, no bodies were found — have now extended into the very streets of the city.
There is no pattern to the disappearances, everyone and anyone is being targeted: city authorities, children who stay out late to play, wealthy merchants, and even the poor homeless that populate the city.
A night watchman, who simply stepped away from his post to relieve himself, returned to find his partner gone without a
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trace. His telling of the story is particularly eerie:
Quote: There was this eerie fog around the place as well and when I cried out my comrade's name, there was this high-pitched and hideous laughter that filled and echoed throughout the area. It was like the cackle of a witch or something possibly even worse. Eventually the wind blew the fog away, but I still have shivers from that scene.
Citizens of RhyDin, it seems we have a possible body-snatching witch on our hands, and we don't mean Miss Elly of Elly's Atelier. Other theories range from bandits (unlikely), vampires, rogue dragons, or demons.
As a mad hunt has still turned up nothing and has only yielded more disappearing guards, citizens are warned to not go out at night and if they must, only travel in groups of two or more.
Most seem to be heeding this warning as between these disappearances and the rampant murders in the West End, the streets are not a welcome place for anyone to be.
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By TERA STARFARE
December 20, 2006
An unknown female was spotted stalking Chris Topher as he went to get himself a bottle of his private stock in the Red Dragon Inn this evening. The tasty beer has long been kept locked away from the populace in the combination locked cold box with Chris being the only living person knowing the combination to get to the delicious treat.
Psychics, Mages, lockpicks, and thieves, of all descriptions have been brought in in the past to test the safeguards the crafty bar tender has placed on his horde to no avail. From the reports it would seem this female could withstand the denial no longer and set out on a covert mission to gain herself the combination by nefarious means.
It is said that everything was going smoothly and the culprit was within one single digit of being able to rob Chris blind any time she wanted to when suddenly there was a loud crash alerting him to her presence. The jig was up thanks to a bobby trapped washtub he had placed just to the side of his precious Lowenbrau stash.
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Eye-witnesses claim that this heathen, hardened criminal, looked and sounded a lot like this reporter but I assure you faithful readers that if you ask my husband he will tell you the truth. I was home in bed with him when this attempted crime occurred.
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By JEWELL RAVENLOCK
December 8, 2006
After a particularly hard shift at the Red Dragon Inn on Tuesday the 5th, I thought I'd give the wide world a little clue as to what it takes to be a tender at such a famous bar. It isn't an easy job and it certainly isn't just about tapping ale. Also, I hope to give you a better idea of who is good at what — we're not all the same after all.
We'll see if you have what it takes to join the ranks.
First off, you have to be a bartender — people will request drinks of you if you happen to be standing behind the bar!
Second and third are Barrista and "Soda Jerk" — I stole the term from fellow bartender, Miles Malign. It seems that alcoholic drinks aren't good enough for some of the Dragon's fine patrons and they demand fancier beverages, like a café mocha latte with a double shot of espresso. Really, though, if you're going to be drinking soda you should at least ask for Amber's root beer that she makes.
Fourth, you have to be a bouncer. Guido has been taking it easy as he's getting on in years, so the bartenders are left to fend for themselves in kicking out people causing a ruckus (or the occasional person who refuses to pay their tab).
The fifth goes along with the fourth, as we often have to be crime stoppers. Just a few weeks, during one of the late shifts, there was an armed robbery!
Sixth is in line with the likes of bouncer and crime stopper — damage controller. I can't even begin to count how many times I've had to stop people from smashing up every table and chair in the Inn by kicking them out into the alley. We also have the unsavory duty of stepping in between domestic disputes and the like — though, that is one of my personal favorite things to do!
We are all responsible for keeping the patrons happy, so that they'll come back, so each of us are often called upon to be: seven — a flirt (some of us enjoy this more than others, read: Miles Vincent Malign), eight — a matchmaker (do not request for Kitty Helston to do this job for you, you'd be better off without a mate if she tried), and nine — nosey (to get those quiet ones to talk).
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Numbers ten and eleven can be real tiring: therapist and guidance counselor. Now, I don't remember being certified to give anyone advice… ever. I think the same can be said for my fellow bartenders, although some of us probably give better advice than others. Hint: If you want advice, and it's not just on "how do I get a man?", go to someone like Sylvia, Tera, or Jal.
Twelve, we are constantly called on to be healers. There used to be a scoreboard for the number of people who have dragged themselves into the Inn on the verge of dying (I must have been up there at least ten times). If you're near death — go find a midwife, a doctor, hospital… anything! Not all of us bartenders are good with healing, though your best bets with us are Wyheree, Sid, and myself. Though I'm sure Taneth might kiss your boo-boo better for you if you ask nicely.
Thirteenth is being a mommy. Yes, a mommy. Our patrons fall under three categories at the Inn: the perfectly fine but thirsty, the mortally wounded, and those under five. Some of us may have the impulse to punt these kids into next week but most of us find ourselves obligated to be nice. We're even thinking of opening a RhyDin Daycare attached to the Great Hall.
Number fourteen is a walking gossip column, though I think everyone should just read that in The Oracle. If you don't, however, I bet you can find out what you want to know by asking Erin!
Fifteen, and this is the most important dear readers, is being just slightly insane. I bet you believe that, though, after reading the list of the rest of our duties.
So, do you think you could do it?
Common Goods
At Uncommon Prices
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By TERA STARFARE
December 4, 2006
It seems not all is doom and gloom here in RhyDin as on December 4th when I arrived at my desk it was to find a thick brown envelope laying smack dab in the center of it. I will admit to you that due to my recent investigations into some unsavory goings on here in town I wasn't exactly thrilled to find an unmarked package on my desk!
I did the smart thing though. I gathered together a group of our newspaper boys to hide behind then had one of them open it for me first. After reviving him with a glass of RhyDin Spring water thrown in his face I took the package, that thankfully hadn't been an explosive device after all, from him and peeked inside myself to see what had caused him to faint dead away.
There to my surprise sparkling merrily away in the lights of The Oracle office building were silver nobles and not just a measly few either faithful readers. We are talking thousands here all stuffed in that brown envelope. After carefully counting them out I discovered the actual amount to be 10,000 total.
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When I gathered my awestruck wits about me and examined the package they arrived in closer, now that I was no longer in fear of my life of it, there was indeed some writing on it. Someone had printed the words "For the renovation of the Outback" upon the paper.
I'm certain that I can say thank you to that anonymous donor from the staff of the Outback and may your fights always be brutal and fun!
"When you need more than skin, Hellballs Leather Goods. After all, it's your hide you are protecting."
To place your order or for more information contact Woody Sprite. You can leave a message for him at the Red Dragon Inn.
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