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DEAR EDITOR, I'd just like to know: What's the deal with the ease and availability of such dangerous items as pink hair dye? It's getting to be so that innocent citizens can't even walk down the streets or fall asleep in the Outback without being accosted by ne'er-do-wells intent on having fun at someone's hair-color's expense! I feel someone should be doing something about this potential outbreak of dyed hair!
Sincerely, Perplexedly Pink
DEAR PERPLEXED, you are lucky that's all that's happening when people fall asleep. Could be worse! They could wake up with a collar around your neck and the Egyptian looking down at them!
DEAR EDITOR, I humbly request that some investigation be done as to the lack of reasonably priced ships available for purchase at the docks. Certainly, it is unfair that the most destitute, often through reasons entirely not their fault, are unable to experience the joys of sailing the seas like many of their more wealthy companions. Why, if a group of
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men wish to set sail, in a historic search for an unknown Isle, what right does a greedy merchant or a tax-hungry dock official, or even a ship's "owner" have to stop them! Should they not be allowed to simply claim any ship they wish and journey onward for the sake of adventure? And Glory! And possibly a solution to the much-touted "man-shortage"?
Thank you for your time, Eventually Ocean-going
DEAR OCEAN-GOING, if money is what you need come work for The Oracle! You have good grammar and punctuation and the pay is good. You will be sailing in no time! Just ask Becky, our receptionist, for an application.
For All Things Magical
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FIXER UPPER FOR THE RHYDIN HANDYMAN! Restore this fine home to it's original glory and you'll have that romantic hideaway you've always dreamed of. Beautiful views, that back-to-nature feel, and a nice breeze come at no extra cost. Priced to see at only 3000 silver crowns! Act quickly and get a 10% off coupon to RhyDin Bulldozing and Demolition.
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PURCHASE AN ALE HOUSE! The perfect opportunity to start your own business and compete with the Red Dragon Inn! The old Bank's Ale House is a little bit crooked, but so is half of population of RhyDin, so business should be brisk. This fine establishment could be yours for only 50,000 silver crowns.
Do you want to see your home featured? Do you want to sell your house or rent an apartment? Sennd your ((private)) message to Gavilean Starfare.
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Connar Valdor passed on on March 10 according to his beloved Shea Greenstone. He leaves behind a legacy of helping others both near and far in times of danger without care to what harm might come to himself. The exact circumstances of his passing are not known at this time. Condolences can be given to Shea either in person or by leaving a message for her at the Red Dragon Inn.
Official Tera Starfare Disclaimer: This is not to say that they are dead and gone forever however. This is to say that they are dead, buried, and have gravestones at the time of this printing of The Oracle.
All Creatures Big and Small
HELP WANTED: Ravensheart School is contemplating the expansion of its curriculum to include not only lessons of various magical natures, but also a more normal choice of subjects:
Math, Literature, Science, Health, Cooking, Wilderness survival, horsemanship and more.
We are in need of competent and caring teachers and professors to come and teach the children, all children, of RhyDin here. All those interested, please contact either Sha'uri Arrowny or Briarius Ravensheart at the Ravensheart School for the Gifted.
JOB OPPORTUNITY Seeking a competent and caring Groomsman to care for and help in the process of breeding Firebrand horses here in RhyDin. Experience in the care of horses a must, experience with Firebrand horses is preferred. Will train the right candidate. Room and board can be arranged. Only the serious may inquire at the Ravensheart School for the Gifted. Go to the main Administration building. Ask for Sha'uri.
Cargo Hauling, cheeeeeeap! — Courier for hire, I can take anything anywhere you want it to go. Contact box in the Red Dragon Inn, room five. Fees negotiable. Misty
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Starfare Wedding Boutique — We here at Starfare Wedding Boutique offer several different plans to make that once in a lifetime occasion something that you and the love of your life can look back on with fond memories as your paths become one forevermore. For more information contact Gavilean or Tera Starfare either at their home or their mail boxes at the Red Dragon Inn.
Hellballs Leather Goods — "When you need more than skin, Hellballs Leather Goods. After all, it's your hide you are protecting." — To place your order or for more information contact Woody Sprite. You can leave a message for him at the Red Dragon Inn.
Scathachian Sanctuary — Negotiation-irradication services for victims of injustice. For consultation interview (including fees), one may contact the Sanctuary directly, or Isuelt DeRomiano at the Red Dragon Inn.
Guthorm Othinsson is looking for work as a "Gar Bag Collector!" He says he is willing to "rub out your gar bag" for you anytime, anywhere, in RhyDin and surrounding areas. This Norseman comes with a sterling reputation for always getting the job done no matter how small or how large it may be you can count on Guthorm Othinsson to see to it that the work is done and done right the first time!
Only serious inquiries please. Messages may be left at the Red Dragon Inn in care of Guthorm Othinsson.
To submit your classified send a ((private)) message to the Editor.
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