A public attack that took place on the 17th of August seems to have sparked off new (or old) tensions between the Elvish and the Dwarven kind. This attack took the form of a statement released by Bobgard Terwilligen, the leader of the Dwarven Equal Rights Committee (and known nudist). The leader of D.E.R.C. had this to say:
"Scon are boke an' knackered av de dwarven race bein' trampled on! We dwarves 'av suffered at de 'ands av al' other races, but de wan race dat 'as attacked us de most? Dohs pointy eared devils, de elves! They tink they are de superior race, an' they try ter rule de other races wi' their magic. Well oi say down wi' de elves, an' down wi' their magic! Oi tink it'd be a gran' idea for dohs wi' power ter 'av it stripped from dem. Ter 'av magic made illegal! If yer don't nu 'oy ter wield it properly, yer shouldn't be allowed ter 'av it. It 's loike puttin' a sword in a child's 'ands. 'tis craziness!"
The Elven Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission (E.R.E.O.C.) was quick with a response and the leader, Adan Ith'Arian, had this to say when asked:
"Bobgard has a habit of taking things out on elves for no reason. It's well known that he has a sort of.. attraction towards elven women. When his pursuit of them fails, he thinks it's an attack on his entire kind, when it certainly is not. I can't speak for every elf, but on behalf of myself and the E.R.E.O.C I can safely say that we hold no ill will towards dwarves. Or any other race for that matter. We pursue equality. As far as my stance on magic, I think trying to rid this city of it is a foolish thing. No one would succeed, and magic has proven to be a useful thing. Look at healers, would you strip them of their magic? And some people need magic to live. Would you kill them or kick them out?"
The renewed tensions did not end with mere words; within short order, a crowd of elves were gathered outside of Terwilligen's home. Some of the signs read "Hate's Not Great!" and "Go Back Underground, Shrimpy!" The impromptu protest did not end with the signs, however; after lobbing eggs at the home and causing 2000 silvers worth of damage, it became clear that it would not end there.
Sure enough, the dwarves answered the attack with one of their own and waged a small scale war on the E.R.E.O.C. Headquarters, causing 15000 crowns with of damage.
Neither group claims responsibility, though their membership rates have skyrocketed since these incidents. Some businesses are feeling the squeeze as members of one race boycott shops owned by the other.
The final word comes from a half-elf, half-dwarf woman met on the streets, who said this:
"I feel like I want to disown the both of 'em for this!"
From Chalkboards To Prison Breaks!
By TERA STARFARE August 31, 2007
I got word from one of my sources that confirmed what another of my sources had told me about the happenings this past week in the Red Dragon Inn between one Darren Drazen and Jewell Kidd A.K.A. The Empress. This is not a pretty tale full of romance and flowers or cheated on spouses or girlfriends though faithful readers. Oh no.
Let me take you back to when Jewell found the chalkboard had been to her thinking perhaps defaced. Now to others it would seem this was maybe a bit of teasing of The Empress but I don't know of any woman that would enjoy being likened to a female cow. In other words a heifer!
So it seems someone thought it would be funny to draw a blue cow on the chalkboard of the Red Dragon Inn with wings. Apparently Darren did not use the subtle glance technique that my beloved husband Gavilean taught him to get women to fall for him as somehow or another my Keg Sister, Jewell, ended up breaking the chalkboard over Darren's head!
Now how this all exactly worked out I am not positive as even my sources can be a bit daft at time and with the noise level in the Inn well you get the picture but anyway there was quite a ruckus when that chalkboard got busted over Darren's head and sad but true Jewell was arrested. Darren ended up with a knife
wound and there was a female medic involved and just maybe he tried out that subtle glance which apparently didn't work as from what I hear he too was arrested for flirting with the medic.
The high point is those that arrested them for some odd reason, or lack of brains but you certainly didn't read that from me, put them in the same cell no less. I'm thinking we need to re-evaluate just what questions are asked on the job applications of those that work at the jails folks! Putting two combatants in the same cell just don't make sense and then come to find out I read this report the next day that says there was a huge flash of light and BOOM the cell wall exploded and the guards at the jail don't know what happened to the two prisoners that had been inside it and that they could even be dead!
If I hadn't seen Darren the next day, while Cassie was beating on him, who again I had to tell to use them subtle glances to try and get the women on his side here. I would have been very concerned they had killed each other in that cell and that was what the huge flash and crumbled wall of the cell was all about.
Thankfully Darren was able to let me know, between Cassie's cursing and threatening of him, that Jewell had escaped the jail too although he wasn't sure where she was at the time. All seems well even if the people at the jail need to get their act together and Darren perhaps needs more practice at subtle glances.
Murder And More!
By TERA STARFARE August 31, 2007
According to the records of the Town Watch a gunshot was heard on the night of August 11th inside the Red Dragon Inn. Now while gunfire is not unusual in the Inn what is unusual about this particular incident is the rest of the report I read. It seems that a body was found in one of the rooms and the owner of this room was Chastity Colragan as was verified by the room ledger.
The report goes on to say the death is pretty suspicious because there were lots of money and even drugs on her body and although we haven't heard too much about them maybe even some gang activity was going on in the Red Dragon Inn rather than the usual cult type things we normally see. The Watch is releasing the coroner's report hoping to get more information so please if you have any get in touch with either any Oracle Reporter or a member of your local Watch.
The Coroner said after examining the body that she was strangled from the front by a thin durable rope or garrote wire by someone of equal strength and that she put up a struggle as she had scratch marks on her neck and a bite mark on her wrist. The Watch is wanting any family member of course or friends to come and claim the body although they state in their report they did find a "Will" and will respect the terms of it if no one claims Chastity's remains.
As a follow up to this before we went to print I did my usual check of the Cemetery and found this one's grave. Said to say it looked to me like someone did have it out for this poor soul even after they were gone for in fairly scratchy but readable letters beneath her name on her stone was a chilly message left that I won't print here in case your children get ahold of the paper. I can and will say however whoever did this just might not be done harming people so be careful folks as always.
The Shipping News For August 2007
From THE DOCKSIDE NEWS REPORT
AFTICA in port, waiting for officers and crew.
Al Na'ir under Captain Maia Cyrene d'Thalia due in port in September.
Arisugawa under Commodore Gustavus (G'nort) Talanador in port.
Bonny Anne under Captain Mary Read in port.
Dauntless under Captain Gordon Howe in port.
Fiddler's Green under Captain Robert Kidd in port.
L'Orient under Commodore Gustavus (G'nort) Talanador in port.
Marietta under Captain Leif Hawke at sea.
Pride and Fury under Captain Stephen Kidd in port.
Seawolf under Captain James Black at sea.
SpellJammer under Commodore Gustavus (G'nort) Talanador in port.
Suave Holly under Captain Sean Donovan at sea.
Traveler Joshua under Captain Az'myth Donne at sea.
Red Dragon Inn Hires New Cook!
By TERA STARFARE
Imagine my surprise when I came into the Inn and discovered the savory smell of delicious food upon the air instead of the usual scents I am met with when I walk into the Red Dragon Inn. Then imagine I see a server moving among the crowd taking and delivering orders of what appears to be an appetizing and hearty full course meal for a reasonable price no less.
I am not talking about some thrown together iffy concoction either that could have been just heated up or keep hot. This looked and smelled divine and then I find out that wonder of wonders we now have a new cook that knows what they are doing! Berklin is his name and right handy he is in the kitchen. Trust me when I say that Sid did a right fine thing when she hired him to be our Cook for the Inn. His menus are delicious and servings are not skimpy. You won't regret coming by for a meal and a drink these days one bit!
Pie Filling From The Heavens
By CANDACE TWIST OF THE TROPICANA TWIST
Early in the morning on August 15 residents of RhyDin were shocked by a strange turn in the weather. Pie filling began falling from the sky in several of the poorer districts of the city. Citizens were seen scrambling for pots pans and anything they could find to hold this bounty from heaven.
Unconfirmed reports have three poor orphans and a fat man brawling in the streets over a rusted bucket filled with apple pie filling. Also three gnomes were dragon lifted to the nearby RhyDin Crisis Medical Center with cases of Furza Fruit poisoning.
Cleanup crews worked round the clock to remove the remains of the odd but delicious rain before vermin and other health issues arose. All salvageable filling was delivered to the Bleak Street Spoon and Knife Soup Kitchen, where it is being distributed to anyone who asks.
Leather, Leashes, and More! Owner Dies
By TERA STARFARE
According to a report dated August 16th Chiana Vitrano has passed away. This death is being ruled accidental due to a piece of cherry lollipop being found in her esophagus even though apparently there was a small spider in it. This death is doubly tragic as Ms. Vitrano was found in her store that had just opened back on August 9th, "Leather, Leashes, and More! RhyDin's Finest Bondage Store!"
From what I understand Ms. Vitrano's shop carried a wide selection of bondage and alternative clothing along with anything and everything imaginable one could desire. She even gave discounts to Ladies and Slavers every day of the week. I'm quite sure that many in the community will miss her.
Hello my dear townsfolk! Glad to see you are all doing well. The auction seems to be going smashingly. And don't forget that I'm in there! Place your bids now while you can!
I'm still awaiting applications for doctors and nurses in the clinic. A clinic cannot run without a staff! Quick! Send those suckers in now so we can get it up and running. Just so you know, Dr. Chryrie will NOT be running the place. She's just helping me get it set up.
I'd like to announce now that I will NOT be running for Governor again when the elections come around again in January. Not that the job hasn't had it's perks. But I would like to very much return to my pseudo-normal life and try to remember what insanity took hold to get me to try this in the first place.
Do have a good time, and remember to be nice to each other. I'm tired of cleaning up your messes.
Busted!
Gavilean Starfare
BUSTED!! Immorality in RhyDin has reached new highs… or lows, depending on how you look at it. One of our own RDI cats was recently busted for pubic pornography. All he could say was, "I blame it all on the paw under the privy stall wall that I inadvertently touched."
August Fishing
From THE DOCKSIDE NEWS REPORT
Fishing has been some of the best there has ever been seen in RhyDin of late. Several boats have reported higher than normal yields and while the market value of many fish has dropped, record profits are still being recorded.
Some attribute the unexpected bounty to the Dockside Disaster that occurred, when fish multiplied on shore and caused a city-wide problem. One fisherman said, "Maybe them living ones went back in and started multiplyin' in the water. Damned if I know, it's just been a really good haul."
Fisherman hope that the trend continues until the season end come fall.
For All Things Magical
G's P.O.V.
By G'NORT DRAGOON-TALANADOR
Hello Starshine, RhyDin says hello. And so do I. Why? Because this is my article and in every article I greet you, my loyal readers who don't look at the title and just pass on for something less interesting such as "A River Runs Through It" or "There's a House" or anything. It's you several readers that make everything worth while.
Last issue, I said that I would discuss relationships and the recent trend of hookups, breakups and what have you. Well, I must say that I lied. I can't talk about that because I haven't really been paying attention to trends to notice whether or not there've been hookups or breakups, and even if I did, I doubt I'd be interested enough to talk about it. I mean, really. Who cares if someone is making goo-goo eyes at some studly hunk, such as myself, or not? Does it really matter if we Meet Joe Black and find he's Sleeping with the Enemy? A persons relationship isn't all *that* Titanic an issue. Of course, I could go after The Usual Suspects and Good Fellas and tell you What's Love Got To Do With It, but that'd just be Psycho. We have our Gossip columnists to do that for you, and he is, indeed working 9 to 5 on bringing you the Juice on that subject.
I, absolutely, could go to our Gladiators of the Arena, Outback and Twilight Isle and tell you which fighters are secretly living in Sin City while trying to be the Lord of the Rings. There's one there who thinks it's "All About Eve" and wants to show her why Some Like it Hot. Me, I think they'd just be Strangers on a Train, and doubt he'd ever get her up to The Apartment down On The Riverfront. But don't give up, our BraveHeart, you'll either find true love or True Lies, whether it's Eve or you're Desperately Seeking Susan. There's other Blade Runners in the Arena finding love, too, but come hell or High Noon, I won't be placing that on my priority report, it'll just go to my Minority Report where little miss Fargo can read it to her hearts content.
What about children? I haven't been paying any attention lately, but I haven't seen a Million Dollar Baby born anytime recently. Just all these people in the Inn and Duels being smarmy together. I guess that's not all SuperBad, though. It helps the population control. My Sixth Sense is
telling me, however, that because of all this smarm, it's bound to happen that a bunch of women are going to get Knocked Up and The Midwives Tale is going to be all about how they were in the Grindhouse down in Annie Hall and how they had to give birth to so many Little Miss Sunshines and Twelve Monkeys to The Wild Bunch of RhyDinians who like to Live Free or Die Hard. I just hope that when it happens, these Children of Men learn that It's a Wonderful Life and one worth living.
Of course, back before I was married, I was Notorious for letting It Happened One Night. Some reputations are Hard To Kill, though, and I end up feeling The Sting. Well, I think I let my Jaws do a lot of The Prestige, but I'm tired now and getting ready for The Big Sleep. So remember, folks, every time you look up at those City Lights and think you're getting in Big Trouble in Little China, just remember what old Gustavas "Gnort" Dragoon-Talanador says when the lighting's flashing and thunders crashing and the rain's coming down in sheets so thick you can't even see that it's Gone with the Wind. Just Snatch the moments you can while you can, because before too long, it's All Quiet On The Western Front, Before Sunset, and The Lost Weekend Out of the Past and you're just gonna be alone telling A Christmas Story to Rosemary's Baby in Sleepy Hollow. Yeah, it'll be a Miracle if you listen to me, but I'm telling it like it is, anyway. Maybe you'll listen to me the Day After Tomorrow.
Next month, I don't know, I think I'll discuss something of interest.
"When you need more than skin, Hellballs Leather Goods. After all, it's your hide you are protecting."
To place your order or for more information contact Woody Sprite. You can leave a message for him at the Red Dragon Inn.
