Some months give us more gossip fodder than even we know what to do with, loyal readers, and that's exactly how the month of August went for us!!! The patrons of the Red Dragon Inn and its dueling venues may entertain us with their hilariousness but there's a deeper lesson to be learned — how NOT to behave properly!!! Thus as our community service to our many dedicated fans, we've collected a handful of rules and stellar accompanying examples to help you navigate the murky waters of RhyDin's social climate!
Rule: When you're The Gov, anything goes!!!
Kitty certainly knows how to party like a rock star!!! The Gov seems to have her choice of partners between the sheets and she certainly enjoys a wide variety!!! Last month she had a short-lived but HAWT while it lasted fling with Darkmere. This month? Mu was overheard telling of her own sexual adventure with Kitty to Kitty's sister, Chryrie, along with… well, everybody else in the Inn!!! Poor Chryrie seemed frustrated by her sister's lack of discretion but NOT US!!! The Gov's reign has been GOLD for the blog and we're starting a Committee to Re-Elect the Kitty. JOIN the CREK today!!!
Rule: Brale-making is under no circumstances acceptable behavior for any young lady!
TRASH-tastic Jade has had her usual sort of month — drunken debauchery, general trashiness, dismal fashion choices, ANOTHER failed relationship, and a healthy dash of arson. Despite all of this, it is her willing participation in brale-making that has left us so hideously disturbed this month. On MULTIPLE occasions, Brale Brother Baker or Brale Brother-in-training Darren were able to convince Jade to bare her breasts so that they may pour ale over them. In fact, the duo invented a new "Double Nipple Trickle Brale" just for her. Numerous times women advised her this wasn't an acceptable practice. DoD-er Evie was overheard telling her she should never flash her boobs unless being paid. Even Lil' Miss Anger Management Jewell suggested that it wasn't exactly classy to allow strange men to pour stuff over your body. Unfortunately, Jade paid them no mind!! When even WILD Jewell or the CRAZY DoD Girls are telling you something is way over the line of classy and deep into the heart of trashy territory, you've got to KNOW you're in trouble!!!
Rule: There's no such thing as a REFORMED bad boy. (a.k.a. You cannot change a man.)
We hear our sisters tell us all the time that their newest boyfriend used to be a bad boy but cleaned up his act for her… and guess what? Within a month, he's back up to his old tricks! Bad Boy Darren didn't even wait a month! After spotting his bubble-blowing girlfriend Sugar flirting with former IFL team owner Ruke, Darren attempted to get on the straight and narrow. He took to keeping Rena around to
"babysit" him and even avoided his trouble-making friends, including TRASH-tastic Jade and Brale Brother Baker. However, within a couple weeks, Bad Boy Darren was right back to his old antics. He's been seen kissing Jade who really has no sense of Woman Pride. We are sooooo sad for Sugar!!! We actually did want to see Bad Boy Darren turn over a new leaf. Le sigh.
Rule: If he's not that into you, BACK OFF!!!
Lassie Cassie just won't let her relationship with AWESOME Alain die! They lost their "it" couple status quite some time ago and Alain's been seen keeping company with a number of different women. Over the course of the past month, he was caught kissing the Ballsy Miss B, seen going upstairs to his room with Cute Single Erin, overheard in a very intimate conversation in the Inn with DoD-er Charlie, spotted chatting up a sweet blonde named Gwyneth, and spied sharing a drink with a young redhead named Rose! STILL Lassie Cassie chased after him like a little lost puppy! Finally, it seemed that it became even more than Alain could stand and for several days a heartbroken Cassie was overheard at the bar saying that she couldn't find him. We have a book just for you Lassie Cassie!!! It's called "He's Just Not That Into You". Please read Chapter 9 entitled "He's Just Not That Into You If He's Disappeared on You"!
And don't forget! Our sponsor T-shirt Zoo, located in the Marketplace at the corner of 5th and Rand Street, is your headquarters for "Team Cassie" and "Team Miss B" tees!!! We're told that the there are PLENTY of Team Cassie tees left but if you want your purple Team Miss B tee you better move QUICKLY!!!
Rule: Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater!!!
So you say your relationship started off with you sleeping with your man while he was married to someone else??? Well, karma is certainly one heck of a wench, no? We can hear Lil Miss Anger Management Jewell's laughter from here!!! Her former husband Deadbeat Dad Alex showed his true colors once again by breaking things off with Other Woman Lain for ANOTHER WOMAN!!! Can Lain really be shocked??? After all, that's exactly how her relationship with Deadbeat Dad Alex began!!! Alex certainly works quickly! His OTHER Other Woman Yami is quite the little hottie and is already said to be DESPERATELY in love with him. She also just so happens to be part cat. We didn't know Alex swung that way… but it takes all kinds! Women who get into relationships as the "other woman" should learn to expect it in return!!! And somebody needs to find a way to bottle up Alex's PIMP-aliciousness! You could make a fortune off of it!
Stay tuned to our daily blog and printed version to find out what sort of trouble your favorite celebrities, heiresses, and bar flies are up to this week! And as always, your Gossip GangSTAR will be back here next month to help you navigate through the tricky morality of this city! Until next month, take care my lovelies!
The Wedding of Koyliak VanDuran and Matthew Algiers Simon
By LADY WYHEREE BLACK
Hylan Harbour, home to the expensive and floatable playthings of New Haven's finest citizens, played host to the much-heralded wedding of Matthew Algiers Simon and Koyliak VanDuran. The Missus Mallie, owned by Daven Mallie, sole proprietor of the Millie & Mallie department store chain, was decorated with white paper lanterns, all hung in the rigging. The ceremony took place underneath the night sky on the upper deck of the yacht. White chairs were set out to accommodate the entire guest list, an eclectic mix of fierce duelers, fashionable socialites, dedicated soldiers and the local bar flies. The reception followed the ceremony on the main deck inside the long dining hall. To go along with the unconventional congregation, a calypso band was hired to play while guests dined on their choice of lobster, prime rib, or jerked chicken for the main course. A bevy of waiters had been hired to keep the appetizers and the drinks coming.
I arrived just as the ceremony was starting, and was struck by how many people, from the Inn and the Arena alike, attended this very moving wedding. All the ladies who knew Koy best wore her artful designs. Stick, who served as Matron of Honor, was dressed in a black backless halter gown with a band of sheer pink lace sitting high on her hips and then flowing out in a full, floor-length skirt! Charlie was in a black organza dress with pink belt and a cropped black leather jacket. Eve wore a shirred style dress in black with the single shoulder strap lined in pale pink. Jaycy had on a black bodice with a flattering sweetheart neckline and black skirts with a
hint of pale pink peeking out from beneath. Bridesmaid Rena was in a black belted dress with a slim skirt hitting just above the knees and a modest v-neckline trimmed in pink.
Caedia was dressed in a short satin dress with a plunging v-neckline adorned with black saw-tooth lace edged with just the slightest hint of pink. Baker was dressed rather casually in a T-shirt crafted with the illusion of a tuxedo. Val wore a rather unique red uniform. Erin was dressed in a lovely pale pink gown with an ever present flower in her hair. Cassie was dressed in a pale silver-blue gown. Rena and Stick had beautiful bouquets of pale pink lilies and tulips. Dressed in tuxedos, Matt's sons from a previous marriage served as ring bearers, while his young daughter littered the aisle with pale pink rose petals. Matt stood waiting at the end of the aisle dressed in his dress blues, waiting for his lovely bride.
Koy looked breathtaking in a chiffon and silk tulle gown of tiered layers, with the slightest hint of pink falling past her ankles in wave after wave of shredded chiffon and tulle plisse. It was the finest design of hers I have ever seen, only surpassed by the radiance of Koy herself, as she took her place at Matt's side.
Des performed a traditional ceremony for the couple, one from Koy's homeland. Ritual questions were asked, and answered, each one bound with a silken cord, so that Koy and Matt were literally tying the knot. Many of those in attendance were teary-eyed as Des pronounced them man and wife.
I wish eternal happiness to Koy and Matt!
Vampire Cat
Gavilean Starfare
As if the times in RyhDin weren't bad enough, now we even have vampire cats roaming the streets, sucking the blood out of our helpless rats and disabled dogs. If you see one of these undead cats, please notify the RSPA ASAP.
Child But Where From?
By TERA STARFARE August 30, 2007
Mishi Kira Jaiobi and Snake Lionheart are announcing they have a child named Travis. Mishi didn't have any further details to give as she has lost her memory and would appreciate any assistance anyone could give her in helping her to find out how she and Snake came to have this child, Travis. If you have any information please get in touch with Mishi.
New Resident In Ring Valley
The keep of one absentee mage has recently been claimed by a young redhead by the name of Rook. After spending a goodly number of nights in the inn and later in a cave near the Southern Glen, an actual keep must be quite a change of pace for the boy. He was seen at the keep with Icer, who was helping fix the roof.
Royal Engagement
By TERA STARFARE September 3, 2007
Kalis-nar and Miko Barton have decided to marry. There has been no date set yet for this, from what I have heard, quite regal event on Kalis-nar's homeworld of Athas. What is known however is Miko's status is now the Imperial Consort and First Royal Regent of Athas now that their engagement is official and she has from all accounts a lovely white gold 24 karat ring with a clear oval-cut ½ karat diamond ring she is wearing from her love Kalis-nar.
FireCat
Gavilean Starfare
Keeping with the theme of cats in this month's Oracle, we have this picture of FireSong's cult little pet. This is one cat that would not get along well with Icer or Lady Wyheree. In fact, this is anything but "one cool cat!"
We here at Starfare Wedding Boutique offer several different plans to make that once in a lifetime occasion something that you and the love of your life can look back on with fond memories as your paths become one forevermore.
For more information contact Gavilean or Tera Starfare either at their home or their mail boxes at the Red Dragon Inn.
Beautiful People of RhyDin ~Ale Edition~
By ELLY~
Sometimes really beautiful people are right under our noses and we don't even realize it! Either they don't stand out for some reason, or they're around so often we get used to seeing them! I know sometimes this happens with me sometimes, but most times not because I still have my fans follow me around.
I recently interviewed the Red Dragon Inn's resident barfly Baker, and what many don't realize is that he's a very, very beautiful, handsome, humble, inspirational man! Sadly, he's taken by not only one, but two women! One of them happens to be a Scathachian! Wow! I wonder if that means Baker is a warrior as well too? If so, I bet they'll have super strong children someday!
Elly: How do you feel, knowing you're one of the best looking people in RhyDin~?
Baker: Well, I don't know about the BEST looking, but if it helps me to get a free ale here or there, I'm all for it.
Elly: I'm a little confused as to something~ Do you have a girlfriend~? I could have sworn I read you did, but from what I hear it doesn't sound like you do~ So if you do, who is she~? And if not, are there any girls you have your eye on~? It'd be really surprising if you were still single~!
Baker: Well, right now Eve and I are into each other. But there is this other chick who has an eye for me. Del. You know, Delphinea. Scath-babe-o-rama. Yeah, we're pretty hot and heavy as well. So much so that I joined the new MPS support group. Men of the Priestesses of Scathach. It helps me get through the rough times.
Elly: Being so attractive, particularly to the opposite sex~ Do you think of it as a curse or blessing~?
Baker: Oh it's a blessing alright. Like I said, it can get me a free ale, somewhere to sleep at night, or even when I'm really needing an extra kick to my ale, it can help me coerce fine young ladies into brewing me up a nice mug of Brale.
Elly: I'm sure people would like to know more about you, so what are some things you like~? Like hobbies~? What do you like doing in your spare time~?
Baker: Bah, I ain't that interesting.
Elly: Maybe you can help solve the mystery about ale~! Tell me, what's so great about it~?
Baker: Ale? Ale is a many splendored thing. It's medicine, its poison, it can help you stand, it can make you fall. It's given me some of the best times I'll never remember. But best of all, it can make you forget.
I drink ale sometimes but I never realized there was so much more to it than that! Baker's words have inspired me to branch out in business and craft my own brands of flavored ales! Thank you Baker!
